From Juli Christensen, LMFT – PFCS Therapist and mom to 13!

It’s that time of year again—school supply lists, first-day outfits, and the sweet sound of silence returning to yourhome after a summer of “I’m bored!” If you’re anything like me, the start of the school year is a mixed bag of relief and chaos. With 13 kids, I’ve been through more back-to-school seasons than I can count, and somehow, I’m still standing (though a little wobblier than I used to be).

So, to all the parents out there juggling their own mini circus, here’s a bit of hard-earned wisdom on how to not just survive but thrive during this back-to-school transition.

1.  Embrace the Power of the Calendar

If you don’t already have a family calendar, now’s the time. And no, the one in your head doesn’t count. Get a big, obnoxious one that takes up half the wall in your kitchen, mine is a huge chalkboard I got from a school closing. Color-code it if you’re feeling fancy, but at the very least, make sure it’s updated daily. I also have a shopping list section onmine for things we are out of. This way, when someone inevitably forgets a practice, a project, or a doctor’s appointment, you can point them to the calendar and say, “Well, it’s been there for weeks.” Less guilt, more time for coffee.

2.  Pack Lunches Like a Pro

Remember when packing lunches was a Pinterest-worthy activity? Yeah, me neither. Keep it simple, folks. My rule: if they’ll eat it, it goes in the lunchbox. Don’t stress about making everything from scratch or cutting sandwiches into cuteshapes. Throw in a little note now and then to remind them you care—something like, “Good luck on the math test,you’ll crush it!” or “Remember, I love you more than your phone does.”

3.  Establish a “Drop Zone”

The amount of stuff kids bring home is mind-boggling—papers, backpacks, gym bags, random sticks and rocks theyfound on the playground. Designate a spot near the front door for all of it. This keeps the chaos contained to one area and helps avoid that frantic morning scramble for missing shoes or permission slips. I call it the “Drop Zone,” but feel free to name it whatever helps you feel like you’re winning at parenting.

4.  Establish and Maintain a Routine

Routines are your best friend during the school year, trust me on this one. Set regular bedtimes, wake-up times, andhomework times, and stick to them like your sanity depends on it—because it does! Kids thrive on predictability, and having a routine helps them (and you) know what to expect each day. Plus, it saves you from having to answer,“What’s next?” a million times. Keep it flexible enough to adjust when needed, but firm enough that it keeps everyone on track.

Include cell phones and technology in this routine, when are they allowed, turned off, and turned in?

5.  Set Realistic Expectations

I’ll be honest: the first few weeks of school are a hot mess. Kids are tired, grumpy, and readjusting to a routine. Let goof the idea that everything will go smoothly. There will be tears (maybe yours), forgotten homework, and a fair share of “I hate school” declarations. Breathe through it, and remember that this too shall pass. If you can get everyone out the door with matching shoes, consider it a victory.

6.  Prioritize Self-Care (Yes, You!)

I can hear the collective eye roll, but hear me out. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take a moment for yourself—whether it’s a walk around the block, a cup of tea in silence, or locking yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes ofpeace. Whatever it is, do it without guilt. Your kids need you sane, and a little self-care goes a long way in keeping that sanity intact.

7.  Keep the Communication Flowing

With some of my kids in high school and others out in the world, I’ve learned that staying connected takes effort. Set aside time to check in with each of your kids, whether it’s during dinner, a car ride, or before bed. Ask open-endedquestions, listen more than you talk, and try to resist the urge to solve every problem for them. They need to know you’re there, even when they pretend they don’t.

8.  Celebrate the Wins

Finally, celebrate the small victories. Did everyone make it through the week? High five! Did you manage to get all the kids to school on time for a whole week? You’re a rock star! Sometimes it’s the little things that keep us going.

Back-to-school season can feel like a marathon, but remember, you’re not running it alone. Lean on your partner, yourfriends, and even your kids when you need to. And when all else fails, remind yourself that winter break is just a few months away.  Good luck, parents—you’ve got this! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go sign a permission slip I forgot about…again.

 Juli Christensen, LMFT is a therapist at Palomar Family Counseling Service.  Follow our blogs for more of her tips, or click on her name to read her bio an make an appointment.